Finding irl connections in Austin, Texas
In today’s world, young adults are faced with a strangely vast and constant online environment. For many Gen Z individuals, social media has been a part of their lives since late childhood. So, creating connections and friendships through the internet is second nature to many. However powerful and valuable, these invisible strings that connect us via url often leave us wanting or wondering how we can find more irl.
In Austin, Texas, the ATX Supper Club has created a simple solution to this issue.
The solution is… a seat at the table. The dinner table to be exact. When looking at the club’s vibrant and lively social pages and platforms, it is apparent that their goal is to create and share special moments, an inclusive and playful environment, and last but certainly not least great food. Curious about this community, I called up founder Bay Stewart to learn more about the club and their work.
Sitting in my East Coast bedroom, pen in hand and notebook open, my phone rang out on my desk and I quickly swiped right to answer. I was greeted by the lively and upbeat voice of Bayley Stewart, coming all the way from Austin, Texas. We quickly dove into conversation, discussing the shock of this fast-paced summer and how August has left us in the dust. After chatting and sincerely expressing our eagerness to connect beyond our respective comment sections, we dove into the interview.
I began simply by asking what drove Bay to create the Supper Club? She explained, “To a certain extent, the reasoning is honestly very mushy, for lack of a better word. I'm a Pisces and I would say I partially subscribe to that line of thinking.” As a Pisces moon and another astrologically curious individual, I was hooked.
“I was lacking community - that was really just it.” She expressed how she had experienced a devastating friendship breakup. Realizing the simple truth that, “the only person that could make me not lonely was me.” Cooking had always been something Bay was passionate about, working in kitchens as a way to support herself. At one point working as a full-time musician, cooking had become a new avenue for Bay’s creativity and artistry. So, she decided to use cooking to build up her much needed community, literally building a 12 person dinner table with her partner. After getting her hands dirty, she began hosting, or in Bay’s words, “holding my friends hostage at dinner tables.” However humble or humorous her approach was, it became clear that these dinners were something special.
After finding personal success with these gatherings, Bay recalled a conversation with her “unending support system,” also known as mom. She told me that her mother put it simply, saying, “Hey, girl, if this is working for you,” continuing on, “other people are probably needing spaces like this.”
Bay, a political science and sociology student, had a history in community organizing and activism, so this wasn’t completely new territory. So, she made a website and put out the word. She recalls this as “the scariest thing I've ever done.” After cooking for 16 hours and opening the door to her home, which served as the first meeting space for the group, she described it as “the best thing that had ever happened to me.” Hence, the ATX Supper Club was born.
I went on to ask, since starting the club, how Bay has seen it affect the lives of members and attendees? She explained how she has witnessed something truly beautiful and magical at each of these events. As an extrovert herself, she said about half of the guests share her love of connection and conversation and are eager to enter the space. However, she has come to recognize the beautiful vulnerability presented by so many who attend as well. Explaining, “this is the scariest thing they've done this year. Like, coming alone to a space where you don't know what it's going to be like, you don't know what the people are necessarily like, is super, super vulnerable”
She shared with me, “the joy of seeing other people happy in that way -, oh my god, I can cry right now. Watching that connection happen, and seeing the bravery of other people.” She expressed how fascinating it is for her, again a true sociologist and clearly a dedicated student, to see how adults need and seek permission. “Even for myself, it's embarrassing to admit that you want to connect with people.” However she continued on to explain, “once you give them that space, the rest is just…Magic.”
This Magic hasn't been created in solitude but is the product of collaboration. After working solo on the Supper Club for months, Bay told me that she came to the conclusion, ”nothing that is meaningful can be done alone.” So, she put out the call in October of 2023 and just like that, it was answered.
“The team has just taken shape from there, and they are so interesting.” She expressed how each of the members bring their own unique perspectives and experiences to the group, “we are now a group of femme and non-binary people.” Bay went on to explain how their work centers around certain pillars they strive to maintain, “one of them is that we want to be as inclusive as possible, and part of that is equitable pricing.”
“We wanted to get to a place where we were sourcing locally, and we were only, for the most part, working with local vendors.” She continued, “Austin has a really incredible community, and we want to uplift that community however we can.”
Finally, I asked the question that had been running around my mind in the days leading up to our call. What is the power of the dinner table? Is it truly the ultimate connection point? And why is that? I posited that it is a bit of a disarming space, a tool even, to create connection.
Bay pondered for a moment and explained, “I think that a dinner table is kind of a grounding space. It's like turning a necessity into something greater. You can gather around that and you have to be vulnerable in a way.” She continued on to say something truly beautiful, “a table is also a platform.”
Isn’t that the truest statement of all? When Bay explained to me the origins of the Supper Club she said that her Grandmother had passed away two years prior. So, Bay used her china that she left for her as the place settings at her table. These beautiful pieces that went unused for decades were filled with new life. The table holds memories, history, and presents us with meals that tell stories of our cultures and personal histories.
Bay told me about a recent chef duo that worked with the Club, “We bring in guest chefs all the time who are doing really interesting work. We just had an incredible menu by a chef duo who were a part of our community. They came up to me eventually, after like, three events, and were like, ‘hey, we can throw down in the kitchen.’ I was, like, amazing! Send me a menu. They sent me this incredible document with these three different menus that were super creative. They are Korean and Mexican, and so they do Korean Mexican fusion - unbelievably good food. It's not just heritage oriented food. Reese grew up and his special food with his family was when they all ate TV dinners together. So, they did a Korean Mexican fusion TV dinner meal.”
She continued, “to be honest with you, food is at the forefront of what we're doing, and also like an afterthought in some ways, because at the end of the day, it's a medium for the rest of it. It's the foundation, I guess.”
As our conversation came to a close, I was feeling truly impressed by Bay’s work and her enthusiasm for it. Her ability to take a sense of loneliness, something all too familiar with so many of us, and turn it into a thriving community was simply beautiful. I asked Bay, what she would to advise those looking for a community of their own?
“Give yourself the opportunity to try something new.” We discussed breaking the never ending practice of projection. Why do we always want to know what others are thinking of us? When will we come to understand they are likely only thinking of themselves too? Exiting this self-imposed cycle is really the best way to connect ourselves to others and forge genuine friendships. She continued, “I would say, like 90% of the battle is just like showing up to that first one, and the other 10% is letting yourself be there.” So, let's do it. Be there. Try something new. Sit down and connect. We have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Thank you Bay for your conversation and collaboration on this piece.
BY REBECCA DOYLE
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